WASHINGTON — After months of mockery, memes, and selfishness towards the past handful of 50 BP rate hikes, the FED has officially threatened to raise rates by three-quarters. “If these broke, whiny, diaper babies want a recession, we’ll go ahead and give them one,” said Fed Chair Jerome Powell in a leaked audio recording. “We didn’t want a 75 BP rate hike but you posted one too many Spongebob memes making fun of me and my friends and now I’m pissed. I don’t go to where they work and make a bunch of memes about how bad they are at making coffee.” Powell describes Americans as “ungrateful, lazy and unpatriotic” followed by mentioning “We literally handed them free money and this is how they treat us in return”. Americans across the country are readying for the upcoming recession and plan on exercising their First Amendment rights with many citizens saying they are “more than ready to pump social media with so many FED memes it will tank the housing market.”
